Fuck Me, I Can’t Stop Playing Cookie Clicker

It was September, 2021 when it started. Kotaku editor-in-chief Patricia Hernandez asked me to handle a post, a story about a clicker game on Steam getting patched to allow cheating. What a fun, novel notion, certainly worthy of a story. No problems there. That was how my problems with Cookie Clicker began. I’ve now baked 245,507,000,000,000,000 cookies.

Clearly I’m late to clickers. Hell, I’m extremely late to Cookie Clicker, which has been around since 2013. But I guess it’s about what you fall into, not when you fall into it.

The premise is idiotically simple. You click on a picture of a cookie. That is, for too long, it. However, if you’ve played any other clickers you’ll know the deal: the more you click, the more extras you can buy to enhance your clicking. And as you gather those, the price for more extras goes up accordingly, locking you into an eternal loop of unending stupidity.

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